[๐๐๐ฒ ๐๐] ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ง ๐๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐๐โฃ
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ช๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ข ๐ธ๐ท-๐ฅ๐ข๐บ ๐ธ๐ณ๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง '๐๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ธ๐ช๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐จ', ๐ช.๐ฆ. ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฅ๐ธ๐ช๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฅ๐ธ๐ช๐ง๐ฆ. ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ
[๐๐๐ฒ ๐๐] ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ง ๐๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐๐
โฃIโm watching โCouples Therapyโ at the moment, a BBC series. There are some relationships on this show that make you think โhow on earth would you begin to repair thatโ. The conflict and the affection are bound up in interaction based on how these two individuals were formed as children, and because of how our society works, they have had to deal with all the fireworks all on their own, behind closed doors. Kudos to any professional doing work with couples (and that includes midwives for sure).
When it comes to someone going to therapy with their partner, I think they must have two conflicting parts of themselves. One part has been beaten up, and isnโt sure whether tools that will help truly exist. Another part believes there is hope. These couples talk about the possibility of breaking up and there are certain situations where it looks to me like thatโs what they should do. But the fact they are in the room trying to talk about it all means both of them are invested enough to be trying. This counts for so much.
In midwifery, we go through enormous events, and for the most part, just like with the interactions of a couple, our reactions and emotions are hidden away. In my practice, I have had doctors in my care. Even clinicians who have worked briefly in obstetrics as part of their training are genuinely surprised by the amount of responsibility midwives hold, when they are having a baby themselves and see it from a personal point of view.
Sometimes, because of all this, midwives go through periods of being beaten up. But I guess we have to decide if we are in the right place. For me, this decision comes down to where the layer of feeling lives. The layer that believes midwifery is my calling is down at the base of me, underneath all the other crap. I've come across a couple of women I respect who call this 'grounded knowledge', or 'your grounded self'.
I worry that writing about the hardest bits of midwifery might be depressing for the people reading and itโs important to point out that I am often, usually even, happy, elated, and fulfilled by my clinical practice. I am just putting the finishing touches on a course called โDelivery Unit Skills for Sensitive Peopleโ because I believe that sensitivity comes with enormous ability, which is awesome to experience. The fact that sensitive midwives can work in the NHS is a testament to the work of women who have gone before us.
The relationship between midwifery and me is complex enough to be a romantic or familial one. How could it not be; romantic relationships are most like our relationships with our parents, thatโs where the fire comes from. Midwifery concerns itself with the origins of those relationships. This is work that moves your core and you need to deal with that while practising attention to detail for blood types, allergies and fetal heart interpretation...
Midwifery is a profession which will never, ever be boring to me. The challenges that pull me along this path are about my growth as a person as much as my professional development.
Tomorrow is the last day of this series. Iโm only just scratching the surface.
To your needs,โฃ
Ellie.
โฃโฃโฃp.s.โฃโฃโฃ
โฃโฃโฃIn part I'm writing this series to help launch my new book, โBecoming a Midwife: A Studentโs Guideโ. It's out 23/2/23. โฃโฃ
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