[𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟒] 𝐀 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝟸𝟷-𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 '𝘎𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨', 𝘪.𝘦. 𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦

On occasion, you will want to do or say something because it makes you look better in the eyes of someone you want to get one over on. Perhaps they have given you cause for grief, and you turned yourself inside out to impress them but it didn’t help. And now you have the chance to show them that you’re not a loser.

This is so tempting. But can I suggest that if you make a decision based on the opinion of someone who has done you ill in the past, you are just laying the path to the same thing happening further down the line. Maybe not with that person. Maybe with a different situation entirely. But remember that whole ‘the truth will set you free, but first, it will piss you off’ thing? You’ve done the pissed-off bit. Move to the freedom bit. The only opinions that matters are your own and that of a few wisely chosen others.

We are so brave in midwifery. It’s a profession where we take so much criticism and responsibility. Sparks fly. I have got this stuff wrong hundreds of times and will continue to do so; it’s all part of it. But over a thousand decisions, keep returning to the ones that make the most sense for you. I don't think you can brute force this approach but thinking about it will be enough to start some changes under the surface. One day you'll notice yourself not needing to impress or overbear as much and it'll feel really good. It's not that you don't care about this stuff anymore. It's just that you're operating in a different system.
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To your needs,⁣⁣
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Ellie.⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣p.s.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣In part I'm writing this series to help launch my new book, ‘Becoming a Midwife: A Student’s Guide’. It's out 23/2/23. ⁣⁣

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