[๐๐๐ฒ ๐] ๐๐๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ ๐ ๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ซ๐
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ช๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ข ๐ธ๐ท-๐ฅ๐ข๐บ ๐ธ๐ณ๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง '๐๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ธ๐ช๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐จ', ๐ช.๐ฆ. ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฅ๐ธ๐ช๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฅ๐ธ๐ช๐ง๐ฆ. ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ
I was once talking to a teacher about their pastoral role at a school. They said something like โall these ridiculous young girls just wanting to drink diet Pepsi and not eat anythingโ. That got my back up because they were uninterested in picking apart the culture that was making the girls do that. Which meant, they are part of the problem, part of why young (and old) women behave in that way, actively part of the abuse, and also blaming the kids for it.
Once we get into a weak position, itโs a downward spiral. Because the abuse is accepted, it becomes hidden.
My personal failure age 13 was not to recognise thatโs what was going on. I slipped into an eating disorder that it has taken me years to find my way back out of. We make out like eating disorders are a common and non-serious condition. It kind of reminds me of the reaction we have to crochet and needlework, as opposed to painting. The first is done by women so itโs hokey and sweet. The second is done by men, so itโs majestic. Eating disorders are associated with women, so when you come across a kid with disordered eating and theyโre female, itโs downplayed as just part of growing up.
In reality, eating disorders might be common but anorexia is the deadliest of mental health disorders. Also, these children are hungry. They are not enjoying their lives. Their ability to learn is compromised.
It is alarming to me that I have known and loved elderly women who never got over disordered eating. The person Iโm thinking of was conscious of thinness, even towards the end. She got into her seventies and still had not got on top of this stuff. It is never too late to go and get help and I so wish she had.
I grieve for the pain of all of those years and all that wasted time. When and if I have my own kids, or when Iโm taking care of other peopleโs, I will not be passing on those issues, or at least not without awareness of why they happen, why itโs BS and some ways of working through and trusting your instincts and body again. The pain stops here. Part of midwifery is promoting respect and dignity for every type of body. I will continue to consciously process my stuff around food every day. The benefits are priceless.
To your needs,
โฃEllie.โฃ
โฃโฃโฃp.s.โฃโฃโฃ
โฃโฃโฃIn part I'm writing this series to help launch my new book, โBecoming a Midwife: A Studentโs Guideโ. It's out 23/2/23. โฃโฃ
โฃโฃI am bad at getting these up on the website each day I'm writing them, but if you want to get them without delay, subscribe to the midwifediaries.com mailing list.
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