[๐๐๐ฒ ๐] ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ญ๐๐ข๐ซ๐๐๐ฌ๐โฃโฃโฃ
๐๐ ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ข๐ฆ๐, ๐๐ซ๐๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ข๐๐๐ซ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ง๐๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐๐ข๐๐ฐ๐ข๐๐๐ซ๐ฒ
[๐๐๐ฒ ๐] ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ญ๐๐ข๐ซ๐๐๐ฌ๐โฃโฃโฃ
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(Spoiler alert for ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ต๐ข๐ช๐ณ๐ค๐ข๐ด๐ฆ)โฃโฃโฃ
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Iโve always said I canโt watch horror or true crime. Iโm unshockable at work, but blood, screaming or anything else too salty is off the menu in my media. But recently, Iโve discovered ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ต๐ข๐ช๐ณ๐ค๐ข๐ด๐ฆ. This documentary is about a guy who found his wife dead at the bottom of their stairs and the 15-year investigation into whether he assaulted her or if she just fell. Most of his family say heโs innocent, but the deceased's sister believes it was murder. I think I can watch it because it's not grisly and is more about the emotions of those involved.โฃโฃโฃ
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These shows are never just about solving the mystery, thereโs always a bigger story. In this case, the series explores whether the American justice system is worth believing in. Thereโs a point where I started to realise that Michael, the suspect, couldnโt have done it. There are 9 hours of footage, and every cm of him is confused and sad. There is no guilt. There are only so many times you can stare into a camera and discuss whatโs going on without giving something away.โฃโฃโฃ
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Every genre offers insight. I always thought if I could get into horror or true crime, that would be a good thing, like getting used to spicy food. The main thing I took away from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ต๐ข๐ช๐ณ๐ค๐ข๐ด๐ฆ is something Michael said to his family: ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏโ๐ต ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ต๐ถ๐ง๐ง. He says this because without his sister-in-law pressing for a sentence, he probably would have walked free. I canโt imagine how furious and distressed Iโd be to see my father, for example, in similar circumstances (highly unlikely, my Dad likes growing tomatoes, holidays in Spain by the sea and learning Ancient Babylonian, and also, he doesnโt have a $1.9 million house with a 15-20 step sweeping hardwood staircase, just a small terrace with lots of carpeting). The accused's family cope with it well, and most of them become closer over the trial and imprisonment process.โฃโฃโฃ
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Of course, the intrigue of true crime is that we donโt know what happened. For all I know, Michael had a split personality, or heโs just a great actor, and he did kill his wife. Our reactions to true crime are about checking what we think of humanity. I always land on โpeople are goodโ and I think that helps me live my life.โฃโฃโฃ
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I think this belief also helps in midwifery. Bullying situations Iโve been involved with in the past were god-awful, and at the time, I even wondered whether the staff member involved was a psychopath*. A bit further down the line, I can see how events have fallen to make students and newly qualified midwives at risk of no empathy from those further up the hierarchy. As they say in The Staircase, the suspect got tangled in the machinery of the law. As someone new to midwifery, you can get tangled in the machinery of the NHS. Not pleasant, very damaging. Although I believe accountability is intensely important, seeing bullying as a cultural problem, as opposed to needing to punish individual staff members, helps me. Getting bound up in all that hatred stuff is not for me. โฃโฃโฃ
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I would rather walk into work thinking good people have been put under pressure and can behave extremely badly, as opposed to us having staff not capable of feeling remorse. Whether you believe the same is up to you as an individual. Regardless, look after yourself out there.โฃโฃโฃ
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All my best,โฃโฃโฃโฃ
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Ellie.โฃโฃโฃโฃ
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