[๐๐๐ฒ ๐๐] ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐๐โฃ
๐๐ ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ข๐ฆ๐, ๐๐ซ๐๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ข๐๐๐ซ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ง๐๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐๐ข๐๐ฐ๐ข๐๐๐ซ๐ฒ
[๐๐๐ฒ ๐๐] ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐๐โฃ
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There is a difference between needing someone to approve of your practice as it is a necessary step in progressing in your career and needing someone to approve of you because you want to be liked. Always ask yourself whether youโre looking for affection from someone you donโt need affection from. Ideally, we get mentorship from someone we like personally, and we like them too, but thatโs not going to be the case all the time. There are so many ways of being a human being. Thereโs room for an extensive scope of midwives. We just need to co-operate and be civil, thatโs all.โฃ
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Aggression, name-calling, undermining, all that stuff - not cool. They should not be part of being at work. If youโre experiencing bullying, Iโm so sorry to hear about that, itโs incredibly difficult. I refer you to this list from my book (below). But if youโre just feeling awkward because the Venn diagram of your personality doesnโt have any overlap with your boss/supervisor/work gang, donโt worry about it. Just keep being you, and the truth about your ability will be known eventually.โฃ
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I have a few midwives who Iโm on the same page with, and we get on socially. But there are plenty of others who are just colleagues. I like watching people who are different from me. You never know what theyโre going to do next. In the meantime, even though Iโm an atheist, I quite like doing a quick universe prayer for people who I donโt automatically gel with. Helps me have good thoughts about them, I think they pick up on that energy, and all is well. โฃ
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The great thing about this stance of 'it's okay if you don't like me' is it gives you somewhere safe to stand. Itโs much more restful to know that youโre not looking for a moral assessment of who you are. And then, if you just take people as people, as opposed to an assault on your character, you'll relax and find it easier to work at a high level.โฃ
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As you might have guessed, I'm writing to remind myself of all this.โฃ
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All my best, Ellie.โฃ
