[𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟕] 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐲
𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝟸𝟷-𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 '𝘎𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨', 𝘪.𝘦. 𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦
[𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟕] 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐲
There is a line in a David Whyte poem that says: "𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶".
The first time my professional life exploded, it became clear that midwifery was hard and that I would not be exempt from the difficulties. And I had enough wherewithal to feel the 'inscribed across the heavens' thing was a fair swap. Things fall apart, and you get to work through that and come out the other side. Sometimes everything has to fall apart to find your own way of doing things. Or I’ve heard Elizabeth Gilbert talking about how the truth has legs, which means that when everything else is swept away, the truth remains.
The awful thing, though, is that this happens on a cycle. I have just published a book; this is my third book, and so I am not naive enough to think that buys me some time with my questions answered. If anything, it opens up many more cans of worms. If you are anything like me, you continually find more issues with the way you are doing things, life becomes inscribed across the heavens again and I just...how many times do we have to do it?
This happens in birth all the time. It’s a journey through layers.
I was listening to a podcast the other day, and the person talking was saying she thought that all the people in their sixties and seventies and beyond must laugh at her because she keeps turning up on the podcast and announcing she has solved the mystery of herself. And perhaps all we do is keep finding another layer.
This calmer, older energy I’m after might be aware and be okay with these layers and the fact the cycle never stops.
To your needs,
Ellie.
p.s.
In part I'm writing this series to help launch my new book, ‘Becoming a Midwife: A Student’s Guide’. It's out 23/2/23.
