[𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟏] 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 ⁣⁣

[𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟏] 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 ⁣

⁣𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝟸𝟷-𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 '𝘎𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨', 𝘪.𝘦. 𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦.

When I was at school, aged 14 or so, I can remember a teacher coming to find me. She seemed to think I had a problem with being a ‘worrier’. I was offended by this. I thought I was getting on pretty well. I had a core group of friends (who I’m still good friends with today) and I was doing well academically. I didn’t really engage with her, just had a polite conversation and moved on.⁣

I can remember telling this story to an old boyfriend of mine, who was outraged. He said something along the lines of ‘whatever you tell kids, it sticks and changes the way they think about themselves’. When we were having this conversation I was in my early twenties and had outsourced my bravery to this boyfriend, who as far as I could see, was unafraid of anything. I was delighted that he’d solved the world. He was so certain about everything.⁣

The problem with all that outrage was it was covering what was really going on. I'm not sure what tipped the teacher off, but she was right, I was a fairly anxious kid. I’m not sure her delivery was great. If I were a teacher talking to a younger me I might have said something like ‘Hey, you seem like a sensitive person and being a teenager is a horrible experience for most people, just so you know. Life gets a lot better quite soon. But I just wondered whether you wanted to try and channel some of that sensitivity into ways of looking after yourself. That would probably help you be happier, but also to be a better friend and do more of the things you want to achieve in the world. You can try the following...’⁣

Mental health wasn’t talked about like that back in 2003, or at least not in my neck of the woods. It’s a shame, because the teacher was on to something. But here I am heaping all of this blame onto someone who was probably working 40+ hours a week, with way harder kids than me on her books. ⁣

These days I know better than to take the surface-level meaning of what a woman who is invested in my future is saying about me and my wellbeing. Whatever your particular difficulties in life, they will come up in midwifery, no matter how much you plaster over or deny what’s going on. ⁣

In the same way that teachers don’t get a lot of time to help individual kids, some of the best midwives may not have much time to add nuance to what they’re saying to you. But if you can unpack what they’re trying to offer you, there will be gold in that. Or this has been my experience, anyway. ⁣

⁣To your needs,⁣

Ellie. ⁣

p.s.⁣⁣

In part, I'm writing this series to help launch my new book, ‘Becoming a Midwife: A Student’s Guide’. You can find it and buy it by clicking the image below - it's out 23/2/23⁣

Also, I want to talk to you about all this. So it's a good excuse to put on some live sessions around the theme. Stay tuned for more information.⁣

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