[๐๐๐ฒ ๐] ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ฅ ๐๐ฎ๐ซ๐ง๐๐ ๐๐ฉโฃ
[๐๐๐ฒ ๐] ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ฅ ๐๐ฎ๐ซ๐ง๐๐ ๐๐ฉโฃ
โฃโฃโฃ๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ช๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ข ๐ธ๐ท-๐ฅ๐ข๐บ ๐ธ๐ณ๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง '๐๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ธ๐ช๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐จ', ๐ช.๐ฆ. ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฅ๐ธ๐ช๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฅ๐ธ๐ช๐ง๐ฆ. ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ตโฃ midwifediaries.com
โฃWhen I was a teenager, I nearly applied to be an adult nurse. I thought that would be a good start to my midwifery career. In the end, I did a load of reading and realised it wasnโt necessary and so went for direct entry midwifery instead. Itโs interesting to me that though I would have done adult nursing and, I think, enjoyed it and found it useful, I never would have considered training as a mental health nurse. As a teenager, I didnโt have much of a grasp on mental illness, and Iโm sorry to say, was a little freaked out by and disgusted by the concept. I donโt think this is an uncommon reaction. It was me trying to protect myself. It was easier to believe it was something over the border that would never happen to me or anyone I loved. โฃ
โฃAs a midwife, I have become relatively used to clients having mental illnesses. Anxiety and depression are common, and clients with pre-existing serious conditions like bipolar or schizophrenia can deteriorate quickly in pregnancy, so we pay attention. There are lots of people to refer to and specialist support we can get in.โฃ
โฃOver the years, I have seen mental illness handled by families in different ways. Sometimes if one person is mentally ill, that can mean all the other people in the family neglect their own mental needs, because they seem so insignificant in comparison. Or Iโve seen family members deny their own problems because their experience with mental illness has been harrowing, and they donโt want to open themselves to that again.โฃ
โฃI've also seen mental illness diagnoses set off a chemical reaction in the other people in a family, who become fascinated by what that diagnosis means about the human condition. It becomes something else to work with in the biosphere of the family. What family members sometimes say, is that while they would choose a quieter and easier life for their loved one, itโs also true that mental illness can act as a weight that trains particular kinds of muscle. Sometimes the mentally ill person can end up with real and valued skills. Sometimes the things that make people vulnerable to mental illness are the things that make us love them the most. Mental illness comes with a bundle of factors, both good and bad. โฃ
โฃThe author Stephanie Foo, who I wrote about yesterday, has complex PTSD caused by childhood abuse. She talks about the โodd successโ of her PTSD helping her excel in crisis situations or when she needs to empathise. Of course, having a mental illness is a shit show. Saying, โoh, but itโs given you a superpowerโ without further qualification is naive and hurtful because without the mental illness, the individual would likely have had a better life, and other superpowers would have developed based on the different experiences available to them.โฃ
โฃBut itโs also important not to see mental illness as something foreign and invasive. Mental illness is just the experience of being human with the dial turned up. We all fall on the spectrum somewhere. โฃ
โฃMy own reaction to mental illness has changed over the years. Time helped. Midwifery is a privileged profession, you get to see a lot of things that make you understand. But also, having people I love being mentally ill has made me both more and less afraid. I don't want people to be isolated and the current limitations of care are frightening. But I am no longer alarmed by the concept of being mentally ill, as I was when I was a teenager. When I am in connection to someone who is mentally ill, whether that's as a midwife or in my personal life, I am grateful for the intimacy of being shared into a private story, because it helps me work out more of mine.โฃ
โฃTo your needs,โฃ
Ellie.โฃ
โฃโฃโฃp.s.โฃโฃโฃ
โฃโฃโฃIn part I'm writing this series to help launch my new book, โBecoming a Midwife: A Studentโs Guideโ. It's out 23/2/23. โฃโฃ
โฃโฃI am bad at getting these up on the website each day I'm writing them, but if you want to get them without delay, subscribe to the midwifediaries.com mailing list.
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Also, I want to talk to you about all this. So it's a good excuse to put on some live sessions around the theme. Stay tuned for more information.โฃ
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