𝟐𝟏 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐲

[𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟓] 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞⁣⁣⁣
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(Spoiler alert for 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘦)⁣⁣⁣
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I’ve always said I can’t watch horror or true crime. I’m unshockable at work, but blood, screaming or anything else too salty is off the menu in my media. But recently, I’ve discovered 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘦. This documentary is about a guy who found his wife dead at the bottom of their stairs and the 15-year investigation into whether he assaulted her or if she just fell. Most of his family say he’s innocent, but the deceased's sister believes it was murder. I think I can watch it because it's not grisly and is more about the emotions of those involved.⁣⁣⁣
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These shows are never just about solving the mystery, there’s always a bigger story. In this case, the series explores whether the American justice system is worth believing in. There’s a point where I started to realise that Michael, the suspect, couldn’t have done it. There are 9 hours of footage, and every cm of him is confused and sad. There is no guilt. There are only so many times you can stare into a camera and discuss what’s going on without giving something away.⁣⁣⁣
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Every genre offers insight. I always thought if I could get into horror or true crime, that would be a good thing, like getting used to spicy food. The main thing I took away from 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘦 is something Michael said to his family: 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘧𝘧. He says this because without his sister-in-law pressing for a sentence, he probably would have walked free. I can’t imagine how furious and distressed I’d be to see my father, for example, in similar circumstances (highly unlikely, my Dad likes growing tomatoes, holidays in Spain by the sea and learning Ancient Babylonian, and also, he doesn’t have a $1.9 million house with a 15-20 step sweeping hardwood staircase, just a small terrace with lots of carpeting). The accused's family cope with it well, and most of them become closer over the trial and imprisonment process.⁣⁣⁣
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Of course, the intrigue of true crime is that we don’t know what happened. For all I know, Michael had a split personality, or he’s just a great actor, and he did kill his wife. Our reactions to true crime are about checking what we think of humanity. I always land on ‘people are good’ and I think that helps me live my life.⁣⁣⁣
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I think this belief also helps in midwifery. Bullying situations I’ve been involved with in the past were god-awful, and at the time, I even wondered whether the staff member involved was a psychopath*. A bit further down the line, I can see how events have fallen to make students and newly qualified midwives at risk of no empathy from those further up the hierarchy. As they say in The Staircase, the suspect got tangled in the machinery of the law. As someone new to midwifery, you can get tangled in the machinery of the NHS. Not pleasant, very damaging. Although I believe accountability is intensely important, seeing bullying as a cultural problem, as opposed to needing to punish individual staff members, helps me. Getting bound up in all that hatred stuff is not for me. ⁣⁣⁣
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I would rather walk into work thinking good people have been put under pressure and can behave extremely badly, as opposed to us having staff not capable of feeling remorse. Whether you believe the same is up to you as an individual. Regardless, look after yourself out there.⁣⁣⁣
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All my best,⁣⁣⁣⁣
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Ellie.⁣⁣⁣⁣
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