Back when I was sixteen or so, I had a boyfriend who got me to try to draw a bicycle. He laughed when I couldn't. I laughed too, it seemed silly not to have a good visual map of something I used almost every day.⁣
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Since then I've realised this is a known thing, most people can't draw bikes, they're really complicated. I think my ex was trying to push some significance over me. I don't think he will have thought about it like that. He was young. He was also from a tough background and his main way of moving through life was to play one-upmanship. By the end of the relationship I was convinced he was better than me at most things but I'm now sure that wasn't the case. I think he was just a guy and it was hard for him not to fall back on the patterns of his past.⁣
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I need to watch out for this. My own pattern is to think I'm not smart. But if you go around listening for confirmation that you lack intelligence that's all your ears will hear.⁣
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The story is a snapshot. My boyfriend was not a bad guy. He liked playstation and ducks and he was a formative part of my adolescence.⁣
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But even though I'm not sixteen anymore, my way of moving through the world still involves questioning everything I do and making sure I'm prioritising people. ⁣
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If you can relate to this, I think we need to find a way of being reflective without doubting ourselves quite so much. It would be sad if only the people schooled in being aggressive had their say.⁣
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#choosetochallenge is the International Women's Day theme for 2021