𝟐𝟏 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐲

[𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟖] '𝐈'𝐦 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐂𝐓𝐆 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞'⁣
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I used to have a midwifery manager at the birth centre. She specialised in physiological labour and held a combination of impressive skill and immense empathy. But I remember her coming to help out on the antenatal ward and checking everything she did with us, saying, ‘I’m not a CTG midwife’. It was the first time I realised that it’s okay to have a specialty. As midwives get more experienced and begin to manage a unit, they tend to get very good at a few things and not so great at everything else.⁣
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As a student, and a new band 5, you have to be skilled at everything. It's demanding. You can ask for help, of course, but it’s the ‘boot camp’ stage of the career. It can feel like driving test conditions. Now I’m older, I can see the pattern in my learning. I try to get good at something new and turn myself inside out with effort. It doesn’t work. I’m ashamed. And then I find an Ellie-shaped back door that lets me do it my way...⁣
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We all need to find a way of using our inherent skills and intelligence. I’m not sure the angst of the journey is optional but I’m convinced some of the time I spend sweating it out is more out of masochism than necessity. Though I forget and have to relearn this every time I do something new, the punchline is repeated: don’t pretend, be yourself, that is enough.⁣
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Don't let the boot camp stage of midwifery beat your area of interest out of you.⁣
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All my best,⁣
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Ellie.⁣
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