Um. Remember that Midwife Diaries forum? We were all excited about it and then it just disappeared?
I’m really, truly sorry about that.
Low stats, lots of attacks by porn spammers (I’m REALLY sorry about those, we couldn’t keep up – I’ve seen a lot of naked women in my time but none engaged in activities like those!) and a general lack of people using it meant we just couldn’t get it going.
I’m sharing this both to make things really clear publicly and also because being brave and doing new things sometimes (in fact, often!) results in things not working.
This is ok. It’s part of life.
For anyone who was part of the moderator team we had going for a little while, a huge thank you for trying this with me and the MidwifeDiaries team.
We still have the 18,000 strong and growing Facebook group, The Secret Community for Midwives In the Making. I’m so proud of this group, the support is endless. (Recent debates include ‘can introverts make good midwives’, ‘where is the best place for a cannula to be sited’ and ‘where have you chosen to train as a midwife and why’. It’s just the most amazing place ever.)
I know at the moment many midwives are facing challenges, we have the news accusing us of some horrible things, and also it’s the time of year where aspiring midwives are receiving offers (huge congratulations if this is you) or rejections (I’m so sorry – please read on, I’m convinced this kind of rejection happens to everyone in life and doesn’t mean anything about your future).
With this in mind, I wanted to share something I use whenever I’m facing a so-called ‘failure’.
I’ve now tracked down where this quote comes from, it’s something I’ve been pointing those in struggle towards for years, it from Catherine F Collautt, PhD:
'Repeat out loud: I’m committed to living a life worth living, to creating new things, and to becoming all I have yet to become – I thereby understand that setbacks and failures will be part and parcel of my journey. So I will make it a must to learn to deal with them in a way that is healthy, productive, and conducive to picking myself up, dusting myself off, and moving forward in my life. I will not take them primarily as signs that I should stop, or that I am a loser – I will first take them as a sign that I am endeavouring to be something different, something more than I was yesterday. This is good.'
I hope this helps. It’s my ‘failure’ manifesto!
When things don’t work, I give a heartfelt apology to anyone I’ve inconvenienced. It’s important for me to apologise for the forum as I know many of you took time to look at it or work on it and your time is so valuable.
But I am going to pick myself up and get on.
Right now, as the RCM have just reported we’re only getting one more midwife for every one hundred trained, we need midwives who innovate. We have to help ourselves until the government can help us again.
For that, we have to be ok with so-called ‘failures’ that often give us the experience and resilience to go forward and make things that do serve women and babies.
In relation to this, I have a simple question for you today.
Can you leave me a comment letting me know what kind of social media you use most? Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, something else? Or do you, in fact, use old school forums and for some reason, the Midwife Diaries one just wasn’t what you are after?
Not necessarily for midwifery stuff, just in general. This will help me serve you better.
P.S. I am out of my mind busy too often and I’m not proud of this. However, I have just put aside a few hours on Sunday to see my best boys (my Dad and my little brother). As Christmas approaches, I realise that’s it’s not about buying stuff but just the odd hour here and there for connection, empowerment and the enjoyment of being with those you adore (I have no rose tinted glasses about families by the way, my Dad and bro both drive me up the wall at times but I adore them too). I know it’s so hard to find the time. But I hope you find some.