Everything’s happened at once this week. My Granny died and though she'd been lost to dementia for a long time, and it was expected, it’s still knocked us sideways.
I also have a family friend who’s passed away unexpectedly, age 52, so I’ll have two funerals to attend next week.
Both my Granny and my family friend wouldn’t want me to ease up on my midwifery support business and writing so I’m trying to keep the plates spinning while doing family stuff. And it’s an unexpectedly beautiful February with canopy blue skies and cold air. Enjoying this is vital.
Aspiring, student and qualified midwives are often overwhelmed. When you’re midwifery inclined you’ll have a caregiving role in your community and family. You'll typically do a lot of carrying everyone down the path.
I have no idea what’s going on for you at the moment but I know you have inner strength and I also know it can feel hard to get that out into the world just because of the sheer volume of life admin.
My granny was a tenacious person. She ran a small business selling floor tiles while bringing up two kids and an endless stream of rescue dogs. Her time management skills were second to none. To be honest, I was quite scared of her when I was little, she had strict rules, and her dogs could be a bit bitey but as I grew up I had respect and love for her.
My life is jam-packed right now.
I bet yours is too.
I remember my Granny tackling things straight to the point.
Here are my time management strategies based on her example.
This will show you how an old-school, overly busy, incredible woman organised her life and got all the important tasks done, while still enjoying her kids and dogs:
- Sit down for twenty minutes and make a big list of everything you need to get done. This should include midwifery training, any revalidation work due, but also stuff like needing to do the washing, birthday cards, bills to pay, doctors appointments etc. The aim is to get everything out of your head down on paper. Once it’s on paper it will stop chasing your thoughts around and you’ll be able to tackle things one at a time.
- Cross out any tasks that don’t need to be done (coffee with that person you secretly find really annoying? If there’s not a good reason, remember you’ve only got one life, seize the carp and politely decline) - and cross out tasks you think you ‘should’ do but aren’t actually that keen on!
- Crucial: ask for help. Where can you delegate or pull in a favour? Remember how good it feels to know you're helping, it may be there are people in your life who are just waiting for you to ask.
- Put the tasks into categories. Those that need doing today, tomorrow, and this week. Those that need doing next week. Those that need doing next month. And those that can be left until beyond that. Then plan out the next two weeks using your diary, write out all the tasks. Add all appointments and shifts to your calendar. You now have a plan and even if you don’t manage to carry it all off, you’ll have a much clearer idea of what needs doing and the essentials will get sorted early.
- Schedule in at least one thing a week that you just WANT to do. It might be escapism with a book or TV series. Or a beauty session. My granny would have taken the dogs out for a three hour romp in the country somewhere.
- Always have tea and snacks on hand for all of this planning. My granny liked Earl Grey and brazil nuts (and secretly, biscuits).
This process will save you time and effort getting everything done. You’ll then have more headspace to be with the women you’re caring for and you’ll be able to enjoy the people around you. Being organised with a calendar might sound basic but this is all the successful, caring people I know to do this or something like it.
The opportunities to enjoy life can slip through your fingers if you lose them all to just tasks. Midwifery time management on wards is so difficult, you won't have time to write lists, but the same structure should apply. Do the most important things, delegate and ask for help if possible. Try and do at least one thing a shift which you really enjoy.
The picture at the top of this post is my Granny getting married in 1948. She’s 18 years old. She died aged 89 still married to my Grandad. She was a woman who handled a lot and her life wasn’t easy.
But she loved the time she had with her family and pets and we will always remember her as a woman of strength, tenacity and a wicked sense of fun. She knew how to prioritise.
Hope this helps you as much as me,
Much Love, Ellie x
P.S. I’d love to hear a) what lessons have you learnt from your older family members that apply to midwifery and b) how do you manage your time?
Leave a comment letting me know!
My granny grew up in rural Scotland, only moving to the south of England when her children were small. She worked for many years as an auxiliary nurse, and then worked through her retirement on a checkout in a supermarket. She exuded joy and cheeriness, I loved it! She always taught me that you should always endeavour to leave people happier than they were when you found them – be it with a smile, compliment, kind word, or just offering them a sweetie (she always had a variety in her bag). Although carrying a multitude of sweets around isn’t always practical, and I am nowhere near as cheery or joyous as she was, I always hear her in my head whenever I’m around others, and try to make a difference to everyone I encounter, even if it’s only tiny. I find that these tiny gestures can (and have) make a difference. I really hope that when I qualify and the pressure of life ramps up I won’t lose this!
That’s so lovely, she sounds like an amazing person, sure it’s in your DNA 🙂 They make all the difference in practice x
My Great Auntie who died aged 99 was so welcoming to visitors that when she became quite physically infirm, people still flocked to see her as she brightened their day so much! She just said simple things like “How lovely to see you” and “How are the children?” and she never got into complicated messy conversations – she would just listen – which was something many people find hard to do. By the time they left, people felt so much better than when they had arrived! What a gift! And yes she always carried Rowntrees Fruit Pastilles in her handbag! Handed to young and old alike! My Dad got a packet a week from being a child to when he died aged 60 – age was no factor with Fruit Pastilles!
As far as organisation goes, mine is down to Lists, Lists, Lists! Mostly on paper, but sometimes in my head. I then not only prioritise but I make a conscious effort to mix up the type of things I need to do. For instance at the moment, some requires new learning so that is fairly intense stuff I need to concentrate on. So I mix that up with filing old learning (and maybe scanning over it as a quick reminder), and then I’ll do something completely mindless like stack the dishwasher or watch Coro. and then maybe do something physical or creative. It’s all about not doing too much for too long in my books, but by sticking to the Lists, I can look back and see I have done everything I set out to do …. by which time I have new Lists lol 🙂 ……
Absolutely perfect!
Just listening is a really big underrated skill! Aw fruit pastels haven’t thought about those in so long…yes, indeed, lists! Yeah doing something physical or exercise for me often helps with breakthroughs. Not sure where I’d be without lists, on my desk I have a big weekly chart to get it all done! x
Yes lists are great, shoppin lists, to do lists, day by day lists and big bucket list lists. I do them all. I often get laughed at at work, with comments like you writing a list for your list. But….. I always finish what I set out to do without panic and too much stress. Of course the unexpected happens and no list can help with that but I always think it’s a good balance to have a little control over some things which makes the unpredictable a little easier to deal with.
I am so sorry to hear about your Granny, they look a handsome couple. She sounded like she lived life to the full. I was invited for interview at university for midwifery degree a week ago. Fingers crossed I will hear soon. Think interview went well, and your book indeed came in very helpful and felt like I was involved in a really good midwifery discussion during interview. Take care and my sympathy to you and your family with your loss xx