Yeah, me too. That's why I've got a chat with a mw researcher looking at 'civility' coming up. 'Civility' is just a research term for being nice and kind and polite.
I'll make a magic link where you can attend the video chat and ask any questions. Deidre Munro is a total lovely.
This will be in 'Wholehearted Midwives'. If you sign up to this chat you get access to the forum for a month too. It's £4.99/month, get a refund if it's not for you (within 10 days).
Or drop me a message as you sign up and I'll email you to remind you to cancel after the month if you like.
Se you Monday at 6pm!
NB. This event is now over. Here's what we found out:
'What's very clear is that civility saves lives.
But otherwise, the concept is fluid. Civility doesn't have one definition and changes depending on culture and current events.
Individuals have different takes too, what's incivility or bullying to one ?is just someone having a whinge to others.
This means it's impossible to write a guideline specifying how you s??hould behave in practice? and actually, that'd be awful. Monitoring stuff like? ?micro?expressions and voice decibel level?? ?Creepy.??
?Our researcher ?also ?mentioned something I've come to realise ?and that the ?evidence shows:
?People being uncivil often ?have something horrific going on in their personal life - or they've been bullied themselves.
On one level I'm reassured by ?this because it's easier to know that people aren't ?mean, they're in pain.
But on another, when you're standing up for yourself, it's easier to think you're in the right and they're just a bully.
The main take away for me is that we're all making it up as we go along and this bullying or ?'?incivility?'? thing ?is a multidimensional mess of misunderstandings?.?
I have so many questions.
?Is it possible to ?develop? a 'toolkit' to deal with difficult behaviour?? While still respecting the colleague in mind? (Our midwifery researcher mentioned the SBAR tool for communicating)?.??
How do we suggest ?a toolkit? without implying it's ?every staff member's? responsibility to deal with ?incivility?, i.e. the whole resilience debacle?
How do we respectfully help those who are behaving badly?
What gives me the right to class behaviour as bullying?
?Should we be writing about this online or ?should we leave it until we have more evidence??
Memory's a funny thing. ?Now I'm writing this I realise these are all questions that were raised in the conference on midwifery culture I ran in 2017.
It's great we're thinking about all this in the research and it's too important of a topic to ignore until we have all the facts.
?It's fantastic that? practice appears? to be changing. ?I?f we look at? the Caring for you Campaign, the mention of staff culture in ?Better Birth and ?really ?the last 50 years of changes in? NHS there's a lot to be hopeful about.
I'll going to keep? writing about ?bullying and civility? because it's too important to worry about getting it wrong.
But I'll be more careful to press the fact that ever?y NHS staff member??, even if they're causing pain, is doing the best they can.'